Thursday, November 1, 2007


Myspace Layouts

Myspace Layouts

First Post - My Delema

Hi, i'm Skyler.

This is the first time I have written one of these things so im not sure how it will turn out.

Well maybe i should start with the reason I have decided to do this.

I was going out with this great guy whom i fell in love with instantly, i suppose you could call it love at first site. Well anyway we were together for over a year when he decided he was at the stage in his life where he wanted to hang out with his mates more often than with me, and drink and just have him to think abot really.

So ever since he left i was trying to get him back, i would go and visit him (i had moved away after he left me, about 4 hours drive from him) and we things would be just as they used to be. We would make love, hang out, talk, go out to clubs etc, but whenever i would ask him to take me back he always said no and the same hurt that i felt when he told me he was leaving would come back.

For 6 months i tried to get him back but it was always the same story, he thought that i would always be there and that when he decided he wanted me back i would be there for him. Well after 6 months i decided that i had experienced enough hurt and tried to move on.

I went to a friends 21st party and got talking to this guy that i kind of knew before but hadn't really talked to o anything. Things seemed to be going pretty well between us so i decided i would give him a chance at making me happy.

I txt my ex and asked one last time if he wanted to be with me or not and again he said no. He sent me an email saying that i should go out with the other guy and that he didn't want to hurt me any more. So thats what i did, i started going out with my new friend, Ben.

Well things moved pretty quick with me and ben and within about a week he was living with me (he is also a friendof my brother who I live with and also my other flatmate). Here goes the confusing part, My ex decides that he has made a big mistake letting me go and actually does want me back.

I went up to visit him, intending the whole time that it would be the last time i would see him and the weekend would just be for closure. Well during the weekend my ex told me how much he loved me and how much he wanted me and that he would do anything to get me back, he even asked me to marry him (which i did not give an answer to), and have children with me.

So i came back home to my new boyfriend Ben, but things were different, i now knew that i didn't wanna be with Ben and i was actually still madly in love with my ex, Jamie. Jamie and I have now decided that we want to get back together and his mum is even willing to buy a house for us to live in.

Now i am stuck between a rock and a hard place, stuck between my feelings for Jamie and not wanting to hurt Ben because i know what it feels like to be hurt. Jamie wants me to tell Ben about us, and so do i but i'm not sure how or when to do it. Ben's birthday is coming up at the end of this month and i dont know if i should tell him before or after it.

Well i think thats enough for now.

Until next time, Skyler